awesomely awkward...

so this post is a sincere plea to my friends who are real runners, and/or were cool in high school (gio and ssk, i'm looking at you), and in general, exhibit much more confidence than i do at any given hour.  so, basically, that would mean, all of my fb friends.

let me begin...this morning, i ran on mount vernon trail.  lest i give you the false impression that i am a runner, let me inform you that i am an extremely seasonally-driven person.  for example, i eat pho only on a rainy fall day.  i go berzerk with pumpkin-based ingredients at trader joe's.  i get psychotically excited when starbucks begins serving with their red cups.

so naturally, the only reason i ran this morning is because dc has such a narrow weather window in which to run with zero humidity, and, as noted in a previous fb post, i occasionally like to fantasize that i'm an extra in a political movie thriller, preferably one starring a lead actor with the first name joshua (jackson, holloway, hutcherson, take your pick, i even like josh groban.  (cue *husband shudder*))

i actually had sincere intentions with this morning's run. i thought about playing some praise music on my nano, praying over the city of dc given recent events and for the lovely ladies of my cbs group, etc. etc. really good intentions. but i got distracted, as i'm about to share.

so i'm running along, and whenever someone passes me, my heart skips a beat bc i get so easily startled, and bc runners typically have a really light tread and just appear out of nowhere.  (bikers are even worse since not only do they appear out of nowhere even FASTER, but they also have the potential to mow me over)   suddenly, a really sleek afr-am male skips by me, lithe, natural, someone who depicts what running-tights-manufacturers have in mind as their prototype consumer.  (unlike yours truly who looks like a stout little penguin when wearing anything with more than 5% spandex)   think, a young louis gosset jr.  or for those too young to remember him, (heck even i have no idea why i know who he is) another jr, damon wayans jr.

anyway, damon-wayans-jr gives me a cool head nod, ok, fine, but then, here's the kicker, he proceeds to give me a sustained thumbs up.  and i panic. do i give him a thumbs up back?  this man does not appear to need any sort of morale boost so the notion that i could cheer him on in any fashion just seems ridiculous.

so there i am, stressing out about what should have been the appropriate response to this runner.   and this incident just demonstrates how awesomely awkward i am.  i spend way too much time and energy in high school mode, wondering about the "lingo," the inside scoop, hoping that i didn't miss some critical component to runners 101.  which is entirely possible since i am a poser, really, for all practical purposes, who just likes to get the dri-fit tees included with race packets, but whose training method is typically, "train up to the halfway mark and come race day, pride will carry you the rest of the way through when you see the 80-yr-old lady pass you."

worse still, there i am on the trail, still mulling over what was the best response to daman wayans jr., and then, coming from the opposite direction, i see a stocky 20-something-yr-old caucasian male smile/nod way too early.  you know when you're in an office building corridor that's just way too long, and you see a professional acquaintance coming from the other direction, and you have to time properly when to give each other the head nod so it's not so early that then you have to make conversation, but not so late that you seem zoned out?  well, that's what this was like.  but horror of horrors, not only did he do the smile/nod, now THIS GUY proceeds to give me what can only be described as a raised air fist pump.  and i think, oh dear, do i air fist pump back??  give him a thumbs up?  this was a million times worse than the first guy, bc at least he passed me and left me pleasantly in the dust.  but this guy looks like he wants some reciprocation.  i pretended to become really entranced by a tree in the distance and then fiddled w/my nano even though nothing was wrong w/it.   [side question: did i appear to be THAT much in need of a morale boost this morning?  just how awful did i look??]

so runners, please do share w/me what proper runners' etiquette is so i don't feel like such a moron next time i hit the trail. and so that my brain space can be dedicated to more virtuous thoughts.  no less than a half hour was wasted stressing about what was deemed cool.  i need help.  running is hard enough without such nonsense dominating my thoughts.